Diamonds of Kilimandjaro (1983)

Starring:

• Katja Bienert
• Antonio Mayans
• Aline Mess

blackhorrormovies.com
Really more of an adventure (although admittedly not very adventurous) tale than horror, DOK is piss-poor in any genre. It's a Tarzan rip-off from Spanish sleaze-meister Jesus Franco, meaning it's an excuse for non-stop nudity, bad dubbing, and little else. Katja Bienert is the ever-topless "white goddess" who has lived for years in darkest Africa since crash landing as a child with her godfather, who insists on being called "big white chief". The Africans here are basically sheep, blindly worshiping the white people who fell from the sky, or else they are the few who (rightfully) distrust the white people and are thus portayed as blood-thirsty savages. Given the blood thirst, though, there's surprisingly little gore or violence; just one mild decapitation (as far as decapitations go). The tribesmen in skull masks could've been somewhat creepy, but they weren't put to good use...or to any use, for that matter. Exploitation flicks are bound to be tasteless and offensive, but they should never be as dull as this lump of coal.

Blood Tide (1982)

Starring:

• James Earl Jones
• José Ferrer
• Lila Kedrova

blackhorrormovies.com
In the hindsight of DVD release-dom, James Earl Jones receives top-billing in this cast of C-grade stars, but as for the movie itself, he’s relegated to supporting status to Martin "Cobra Kai" Kove of Karate Kid fame and Lydia “Too Close for Comfort” Cornell. Why do Darth Vader like that? Jones plays a Shakespeare-spewing, shallow ass of a treasure hunter who verbally abuses and intimidates his young, ditzy, white trophy girlfriend (Cornell). He ends up on an island where they sacrifice virgins to a sea monster who appears on screen for all of 20 seconds. Kove comes to the island looking for his sister, who happens to be a virgin. Oops. Jones eventually helps Kove save his sister from being sacrificed, only to sacrifice himself in classic black co-star fashion as he blows up the monster (I believe his last words are "Get out!", although he has plenty of time to escape with the "heroes"). How noble. The lesson: Don't date white women.

Sophisticated Gents (1981)

Starring:

• Sonny Jim Gaines
• Paul Winfield
• Bernie Casey

TCM.com
Twenty-five-year reunion of members of a Black athletic-social club, based on the book "The Junior Bachelor Society", brings together nine of its members for the first time to honor their old coach but is marred by a murder investigation involving one of the gents (Melvin Van Peebles, who had written the teleplay as well as one of the songs). This basically all-Black film, made in 1979, sat on the network shelf for nearly two years.

Tanya's Island (1980)

Starring:

• Vanity
• Richard Sargent
• Mariette Lévesque

Blackhorrormovies.com
I freely admit that Tanya's Island is not a horror film, but like Soul Vengeance, it defies genre (not to mention logic, good taste, and proper hygiene). The film stars The Artist Formerly Know As Vanity as Tanya, a vapid model (redundant?) who we're supposed to pity because her artist boyfriend, Lobo (Richard Sargent), treats her like crap. Instead of leaving the abusive dolt, she transports herself to a dream world where she and he are alone together on a tropical island so that he can...um, abuse her in isolation? Turns out they're not alone, though. There's a blue-eyed gorilla (You can't make this stuff up.) that roams the island, too, whom Tanya befriends and nicknames "Blue". (Tanya's vocabulary skills aren't very keen.) While there doesn't appear to be any romantic relationship between gal and beast, it's still awfully weird, and when Lobo finds out, he goes "ape shit", becoming more beastly than the beast. Man and ape duke it out for the woman, and the woman ultimately gets it in the end, literally...twice. I suppose Tanya's Island is supposed to be some sort of allegory, with a message about the nature of man or the treatment of women or whatever, but it's all lost in this repugnant mess. Not only is Vanity's character exploited, used, and abused in the movie, but Vanity herself is treated likewise; she's just a slab of meat here, parading around naked for most of the film, being subjected to unsubtle ass and bush close-ups and the occasional monkey rape. No wonder she's since become a minister. I like seeing naked women as much as the next guy, but here it's just numbing, sort of like Showgirls without the poles but with all the icky perversion -- not to mention the potential racial innuendo. Talk about horror.